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Posts Tagged ‘weight loss’

Conflictions…

July 24, 2010 1 comment

So, if you haven’t read my other blog yet, here’s my story…. I’m trying to change myself into a “better” individual. That is, I’m trying to quit smoking and drinking as well as lose weight and become a more active individual. Yet here I am reflecting about last night and all the beers I decided to enjoy. What is it about that lifestyle that is so enticing? What about it makes it so hard to get rid of?

Well, I don’t know why it is so hard to change, but… my wife had an epiphany today… she told me that this life of smoking and drinking is easy because that is the way we met when we were young. So basically, it is familiar territory, common ground, and although we may fight and get angry with each other as we proceed through our personal struggles, we must continue to build upon each others strengths and slowly but surely push away the weaknesses.

So I continue my struggle to become the person I see myself being and let the sun shine upon a new day (only in the picture though because it looks like another rainy day today… Oh well!).

Ok everybody, enjoy your day and let me know what your personal goals are or what your struggling to overcome! And don’t forget to check out my other blog: Food, Cycling & Sweat.

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Tonights Dinner

July 18, 2010 2 comments

I made an AMAZING dinner (for my loving and completely understanding wife) to accompany my appology flowers! 🙂 I made a chicken penne pasta with pesto sauce topped with carmelized onions and sun dried tomatos. The recipe for the pesto came from the Eat Clean Diet Cookbook and aside from lacking some garlic, it tasted GREAT!

Here are the flowers (because I’m a complete douchebag!): 

 And here is the pasta: 

Overall, it has been a great evening and I am looking forward to what the new day will bring! In store for tomorrow: a bike ride with the kids followed by a weight lifting class at The Alaska Club in the evening. It’s time I lost some of this damn weight!!

Post Numero Uno

July 18, 2010 1 comment

It’s raining…

I like the rain, sometimes. It makes everything clean, fresh. Sadly, it hasn’t helped improve my mood nor has it washed away the pressing issues currently laying seige to my already shattered mind. I feel as though I have reached an impasse, a plateau of which I can either jump from and risk a torturous landing or I can attempt climbing down to safety. Personally, I have always been the type to jump, to take on the world at once, all or nothing…

But can I successfully change myself all at once?

The back story… I am 26 and currently passionless. Where my passion has gone, I cannot say for I do not know. I once loved many things: writing, reading, mountain biking, music… the list goes on. Over the past 5 to 6 years complacency has replaced passion, laziness over desire. And this tears me apart inside. I stare at my goals posted neatly on my fridge and the white board in the kitchen where I write my successes and it seems littered with nothing more than failures…

4 days of not smoking, now I am again. 5 days of Clean Eating and the invasion of dirty foods comes back. Not a single page of writing aside from this blog post. No weight lost (I am currently 220 lbs and very unhappy about it). I had miles of running and biking under my belt and come Friday past, my weekend went downhill. Needless to say, I have work to do, but I present this one question…

How does one with little to no support group succeed? With no mutual friends interested in tackling the same obstacles, it seems a mountain insurmountable.

And as stupid as this may sound, how does one even meet and make new friends? In five years, it seems I have collapsed into myself, living for nothing but my marriage and not at all for my own well being. I am rusty, if you will… a social caterpillar waiting for my wings.

But perhaps the battle simply can’t be all in my favor. Failure can breed stronger passion. I think about this now, and it strengthens my resolve. Writing has always calmed me in a way that nothing else can and that, I realize, IS my passion!