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Posts Tagged ‘mountain biking’

Tonights Dinner

July 18, 2010 2 comments

I made an AMAZING dinner (for my loving and completely understanding wife) to accompany my appology flowers! 🙂 I made a chicken penne pasta with pesto sauce topped with carmelized onions and sun dried tomatos. The recipe for the pesto came from the Eat Clean Diet Cookbook and aside from lacking some garlic, it tasted GREAT!

Here are the flowers (because I’m a complete douchebag!): 

 And here is the pasta: 

Overall, it has been a great evening and I am looking forward to what the new day will bring! In store for tomorrow: a bike ride with the kids followed by a weight lifting class at The Alaska Club in the evening. It’s time I lost some of this damn weight!!

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Post Numero Uno

July 18, 2010 1 comment

It’s raining…

I like the rain, sometimes. It makes everything clean, fresh. Sadly, it hasn’t helped improve my mood nor has it washed away the pressing issues currently laying seige to my already shattered mind. I feel as though I have reached an impasse, a plateau of which I can either jump from and risk a torturous landing or I can attempt climbing down to safety. Personally, I have always been the type to jump, to take on the world at once, all or nothing…

But can I successfully change myself all at once?

The back story… I am 26 and currently passionless. Where my passion has gone, I cannot say for I do not know. I once loved many things: writing, reading, mountain biking, music… the list goes on. Over the past 5 to 6 years complacency has replaced passion, laziness over desire. And this tears me apart inside. I stare at my goals posted neatly on my fridge and the white board in the kitchen where I write my successes and it seems littered with nothing more than failures…

4 days of not smoking, now I am again. 5 days of Clean Eating and the invasion of dirty foods comes back. Not a single page of writing aside from this blog post. No weight lost (I am currently 220 lbs and very unhappy about it). I had miles of running and biking under my belt and come Friday past, my weekend went downhill. Needless to say, I have work to do, but I present this one question…

How does one with little to no support group succeed? With no mutual friends interested in tackling the same obstacles, it seems a mountain insurmountable.

And as stupid as this may sound, how does one even meet and make new friends? In five years, it seems I have collapsed into myself, living for nothing but my marriage and not at all for my own well being. I am rusty, if you will… a social caterpillar waiting for my wings.

But perhaps the battle simply can’t be all in my favor. Failure can breed stronger passion. I think about this now, and it strengthens my resolve. Writing has always calmed me in a way that nothing else can and that, I realize, IS my passion!