Archive

Posts Tagged ‘depression’

Life’s Road – a work in progress…

September 19, 2010 14 comments

So I am one of those bloggers/writers that like to get feed back. I mean REALLY like to get it. Good, bad, ugly, constructive… any which type of comments are great. So I occasionally post work that I don’t feel is in a completed form so I know what to tweak to make it better, to make it reach that level where I feel it could be a published piece of writing. This is one such piece… Enjoy!

******

white lines blur at the edge of my vision,
screaming out of control as I leave them behind,
always more ahead
                taunting, pleading
                                dragging me onward
down this merciless highway of hate and tears,

another cigarette out the window fed to the wind

moonlight chilling my soul like ice on a windshield
blinding my recklessness, fueling me forward
into wild unknown
                taking control
                                leaving no memory,
dust in the wind as blaring sirens attend their call.

(c) 2010 by D. Wright

******

posted for Poetry Potluck

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Addicted Ignorance…

September 13, 2010 18 comments

So, since quitting smoking, then starting, quitting, starting, quitting (yes, this has been an ongoing problem) I have been thinking a lot about addiction and issues of the like. Here are the results of my heavy concentration and occassional one-track mindedness.

 

anger pulsing,
in my head a beat box
cacophony raging unchecked
behind narrowed vision,
half blind as desire
takes over,
well-being tossed out
to proverbial curb, forgotten
left for death in festering gutters
next to homeless drunks passed out upon
soaked sheets of week old New York Times
ever appearing dead as sun creeps ever higher,
passed out next to my better judgment
now slathered in yellow puke
and green sewer slime
while I am off feeding addiction
needed to temper my bubbling rage,
the lava building slowly subsides,
failing to explode… today…
but what of tomorrow?
or the next?

                                                  (c) 2010 by D. Wright

 

Prayer

August 22, 2010 17 comments

chains and shackles
devised by thee,

keep me rooted
immobile, un-free,

forgetting life
the joy it brings,

traded for pain
my own misery,

God above
If real and true,

bring the winds
fierce, unwavering,

uproot this tree
my life and pain,

break me down
so I may, one day,

get up again.

(c) 2010 by D. Wright

Post Numero Uno

July 18, 2010 1 comment

It’s raining…

I like the rain, sometimes. It makes everything clean, fresh. Sadly, it hasn’t helped improve my mood nor has it washed away the pressing issues currently laying seige to my already shattered mind. I feel as though I have reached an impasse, a plateau of which I can either jump from and risk a torturous landing or I can attempt climbing down to safety. Personally, I have always been the type to jump, to take on the world at once, all or nothing…

But can I successfully change myself all at once?

The back story… I am 26 and currently passionless. Where my passion has gone, I cannot say for I do not know. I once loved many things: writing, reading, mountain biking, music… the list goes on. Over the past 5 to 6 years complacency has replaced passion, laziness over desire. And this tears me apart inside. I stare at my goals posted neatly on my fridge and the white board in the kitchen where I write my successes and it seems littered with nothing more than failures…

4 days of not smoking, now I am again. 5 days of Clean Eating and the invasion of dirty foods comes back. Not a single page of writing aside from this blog post. No weight lost (I am currently 220 lbs and very unhappy about it). I had miles of running and biking under my belt and come Friday past, my weekend went downhill. Needless to say, I have work to do, but I present this one question…

How does one with little to no support group succeed? With no mutual friends interested in tackling the same obstacles, it seems a mountain insurmountable.

And as stupid as this may sound, how does one even meet and make new friends? In five years, it seems I have collapsed into myself, living for nothing but my marriage and not at all for my own well being. I am rusty, if you will… a social caterpillar waiting for my wings.

But perhaps the battle simply can’t be all in my favor. Failure can breed stronger passion. I think about this now, and it strengthens my resolve. Writing has always calmed me in a way that nothing else can and that, I realize, IS my passion!