Home > Free Form Poetry, Poetry > Collapse

Collapse

I know I’ve been absent for awhile and I tried to write this poem in time for both the Thursday Think Tank and the Thursday Poets Rally, but alas it is now Sunday. I am just getting around to posting it now for the Poetry Pantry and I hope everyone enjoys it!

******

red bricks tumbling,
wasting away
this wall of cracked plaster,
crumbling, carried away on winds afar

graffiti rainbow
seen by all, hidden by one

with thoughts of her leaving,
hollow footfalls upon aged wood floors,
the very floor he meant to replace,
        never did,
                now couldn’t
as he watches his firstborn daughter
run naked, mother in tow
a faded mirage;

a howling swirl,
wind chimes wailing sirens call,
protesting the storm where doors slam
        glass explodes,
                glinting
a myriad reflection, setting summer sun
the color of fire, bombs fall upon
weakened base, last defense;

my wall collapses,
dust and debris scatter,
guillotine cleaves my bleeding heart

I cry

(c) by D. Wright 2010

******

Hopefully I can get back to posting more frequently. Thanks to everyone that stopped by!

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  1. September 12, 2010 at 10:46 am

    your entry is always welcome,
    very creative write….
    Thanks for sharing!
    🙂

  2. September 12, 2010 at 10:52 am

    red bricks tumbling,
    wasting away
    this wall of cracked plaster,
    crumbling, carried away on winds afar…

    life is unpredictable, if you miss the chance, u may never be able to make it…
    I love the word flow and the spirits in it…

    Happy poetry day!

  3. September 12, 2010 at 11:48 am

    That was amazing, I loved the imagery.

    My Poets Rally Poem: http://robinelizabeth58.wordpress.com/2010/08/05/falling-august-5-2010/

  4. September 12, 2010 at 12:10 pm

    Very strong poem, evocative…….wonderful imahes, heart-tugging emotion. Well-done! Life sometimes hurts! You captured it well.

    • September 12, 2010 at 3:36 pm

      thank you for the kind words! come back any time!

  5. September 12, 2010 at 12:49 pm

    So many strong images in this poem!

  6. September 12, 2010 at 12:54 pm

    I’m glad you did post. Wonderful and complex mix of images. Solid. Thoughtful. – bill

    • September 12, 2010 at 3:38 pm

      thx bill, i really worked this one, wanted to capture a persons pain of loss and horrible realization of what people do when they put up walls. so far, i’m happy with the outcome!

  7. September 12, 2010 at 2:46 pm

    Thoought provoking. pretty good.

    Here’s mine: http://creativemotive.wordpress.com/2010/08/16/zephyr/

  8. September 12, 2010 at 3:11 pm

    Great imagery and strong action and emotions. I enjoyed the perspective of this piece. Thanks!

    • September 12, 2010 at 3:39 pm

      your welcome! come back any time!

  9. September 12, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    Really enjoyed the imagery!

  10. September 12, 2010 at 3:50 pm

    wonderful poem, i imagine as read by a soldier

  11. September 12, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    very powerful images, and you weave them into such a moving experience. nicely done.

  12. September 12, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    Wonderful imagery and beautifully expressed:) xx

  13. September 12, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    powerful descriptors, great job building images in the minds eye, good poem =]

  14. September 12, 2010 at 5:41 pm

    What images you provide us with, but it was a very sad poem, too. I hope it wasn’t anything real. Fond wishes from Diane.

    • September 12, 2010 at 8:05 pm

      no, not a personal experience, but one that I sure many people have felt. I try to imagine pain into my writing for some reason… just my writing style! thanks for stopping by!

  15. September 12, 2010 at 6:08 pm

    welcome link in old poems,
    thanks for the visit to poetry pot luck party.
    🙂

  16. AS
    September 12, 2010 at 6:29 pm

    hii
    really nice! keep writing 🙂

  17. -D
    September 12, 2010 at 8:18 pm

    hi,
    nice one. yes. walls encase us. our own doing. we are own destruction.
    -D

  18. September 13, 2010 at 12:37 am

    That was so sad…loved your selection of words. But the last two words did it for me “I cry”…such simple, small words yet so powerful.

  19. September 13, 2010 at 2:33 am

    Very well written. Deep with meanings.

  20. kyoichi
    September 13, 2010 at 2:34 am

    reminded me of my childhood but it’s kinda weird since this is from a worn perspective. O_O

    anyway, this made me think about some stuff =]

  21. September 13, 2010 at 3:48 am

    Wow … one emotionally charged piece. I especially love the stanza about the faded mirage: who hasn’t felt that type of longing, regret, would do over if you could. Beautiful!

  22. 700miles
    September 13, 2010 at 4:41 am

    so sad, you could feel the heartache. very powerful…. glad this was not your personal experience…. take care…

  23. September 13, 2010 at 9:05 am

    Lovely and somber. I can hear your voice through the vivid imagery.

    great work,
    Angela

  24. mairmusic
    September 13, 2010 at 10:28 am

    Intense and beautiful– nicely done!
    http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/

  25. September 13, 2010 at 4:35 pm

    The last line . . . I cry . . .

    so powerfull….

  26. September 13, 2010 at 11:24 pm

    Emotions are so hard to write about, specially those of others. Well done.

  27. September 14, 2010 at 10:22 am
    • September 14, 2010 at 10:38 am

      thanks! come back again! 🙂

  28. September 14, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    Wonderful images you have given me here. Fantastic piece of writing, keep it up Kx
    http://kashaw.wordpress.com/2010/08/27/casino-jinks/

  29. September 14, 2010 at 11:20 pm

    This was really very vivid! I could picture it all!!
    Excellently written!! WOW! So intense and rich in emotion…

  30. September 19, 2010 at 8:50 am

    This made me so sad. It is so moving and visual. These particular words spoke to me …graffiti rainbow/ seen by all, hidden by one

    Thank you for sharing this.

    • September 19, 2010 at 9:23 am

      graffiti rainbow was my favorite line in the whole poem. it creates so many cool visuals! come back any time, it’s always great to hear from you! take care!

  31. September 19, 2010 at 3:41 pm

    The Dead Line to Vote is Sunday or today,
    http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/09/06/the-celebrate-blogger-of-august-awards-announcements/

    u r nominated, u win 1 vote automatically,
    if you vote for other bloggers, u win another vote…
    have fun!

  32. September 26, 2010 at 10:01 pm

    http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/2010/09/monday-poetry-potluck-kings-queens-and.html

    Hello, friend:

    Monday Poetry Potluck Is NOW open, linking is open from Sunday 8pm to Tuesday, 8pm, welcome join us by linking in 1 to 3 poems, you could use an old poem, the more you share, the happier we are…hurry up!
    Thanks in advance.
    Hope to see you in our lovely potluck…

  33. September 26, 2010 at 10:03 pm

    Intense emotions portrayed beautifully..

  1. September 12, 2010 at 10:48 am
  2. September 12, 2010 at 10:50 am
  3. September 15, 2010 at 11:46 am
  4. September 18, 2010 at 4:45 pm

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