Home > Poetry, Writing > Angelique

Angelique

picture courtesy of Katie Sevigny Art        

(i) will

destroy this

place, reeking

of sweat and

tears (cried)

in misery

(for) loss of

self (the temple)

upon that

dirty bed

and the hard

floor

as a dog

to him; (and)

he beat you

senseless,

left you for

dead, but

vengeance is

his screams

piercing (the)

blizzard that

buries my (soul).

                        (c) 2009 by D. Wright

This was written for my final portfolio in last years ENG 224 class. And still, with the critique I was given, I cannot bring myself to change this poem in any way. I simply feel it is perfect the way it is.

Also, I’m still working on my personal challenge writing for the day. Sadly, I’ve been too busy at work today to write anything other than this blog post! Take care and happy reading!

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  1. August 13, 2010 at 2:55 pm

    Hooray for you! Be true to yourself. Good poem. Fine art. Like it.

    And, must say, you have good taste in WordPress Themes. 🙂

    Happy Friday …

    • August 13, 2010 at 4:17 pm

      happy friday to you as well, thanks for the encouraging words!

  2. August 14, 2010 at 4:15 am

    I think it is well written. Somtimes, critique changes take the total intent of author out. I feel writing is best when from the heart and reflecting the writer. I like unpolished and seldom fine tune…only if I have difficulty conveying my meaning.

    • August 14, 2010 at 6:29 am

      This poem was definitely one of raw emotion. I still feel it now when I read the same as the day I wrote it.

  3. August 14, 2010 at 8:57 am

    Beautiful, powerful, and very sad. Great piece. I like how you cleverly put parenthesis around certain words. Very beautifully done.

    • August 14, 2010 at 10:48 am

      that was part of my teachers critique… she thought it was creative yet detracting from the poem… personally, the poem in the poem was part of the initial concept and I really enjoyed writing it that way! thanks for the kind words!

  4. August 16, 2010 at 10:27 am

    Totally love it… I actually read it three times. Its just so heartbreakingly beautiful. I’m loving words today! Thanks for sharing.

    • August 16, 2010 at 5:55 pm

      thank for all the kind comments and thanks for reading!

  5. August 16, 2010 at 4:13 pm

    I love this, and I agree with you – it’s perfect as is. Using the poem within the poem they way you did – with parenthesis – and the beautiful artwork of a woman curled in upon herself, the picture looking almost as if it were a finger painting, there were so many layers of psychology here… The child within; the woman who protects her soul and her spirit by keeping them safe within – like a fetus, while all about her ravages and abuses; the anger and outrage. The heated sweat at the beginning and the blizzard at the end, as if the anguish is transformed into a lack of feeling, which means spiritual death… Oh my gosh, it’s a powerful, moving piece.

  6. August 30, 2010 at 10:11 am

    I agree – sometimes a poem feels right exactly the way you wrote it, and needs to remain that way. Good poem. Love especially the last few lines…..blizzard that buries my soul – powerful.

  7. August 30, 2010 at 4:23 pm

    Very wonderfully written 🙂 Thank for sharing, I am moved by your words:)

  8. systematicweasel
    August 31, 2010 at 6:13 am

    I think we all have that work that we feel is perfect, no matter what sort of criticism is given to it. As long as you are happy with it in every way, that is all that matters. =) Excellently written work!

    -Weasel

  9. September 2, 2010 at 4:09 pm

    fabulous job!

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